The Secrets of Happy Families, by Bruce Feiler

A complimentary review copy was provided to me.

I recently had the chance to read The Secrets of Happy Families, by Bruce Feiler. I wasn't sure what to expect as I began the book, but I must say that Bruce put my fears to rest when in the introduction he stated "A collection like this is liberating, I believe, because it is obvious no one can attend to them all." It took the pressure off...it wasn't a one size fits all set of advice. It was meant to be something where you could pick and choose what worked for you.

As I continued to read, I was surprised to see that one of the experts that he consulted with as he searched for the secrets to happy families, was Jim Collins, author of Good to Great. This is a book that I have read and found very insightful. Certainly, Good to Great was written about companies, but a large part of is about creating a great company culture and I totally could see how he would have good perspective on creating a good culture at home as well.

It gave me a boost as I read to see that several of his suggestions are things that we already have in place in our household. With everything that pulls you in a hundred directions, it was reassuring to know that we are doing some things right (not that not doing things is wrong - again not one size fits all). My book is all dog-eared with corners flipped down at sections that I want to be able to quickly reference and consider how to implement. Some of the things that he talked about are not things that I expected...things like talking to your kids about sexuality, some of the thoughts being different than I had going in, but after consideration, points that I think are very valid. He also talked about teaching your kids money management; how to keep the family engaged on family vacations, which seem like great ideas when you consider that everyone has varied interests; and organized sports.

An interesting statistic that he shared was around the subject of divorce. "Divorce is now at a thirty-year low in America...A primary reason is that people have been getting hitched later. The biggest single risk factor for divorce is getting married before you turn twenty-four; the biggest predictor of marital success is graduating from college." This struck me because a few weeks back, I had gone to dinner with several friends...as we talked, something struck me...most of them had been divorced (many were remarried). As we talked about it, many of them had gotten married young to someone that they knew from high school or college. It struck me at that time how interesting it was that they had all been young. So, when I read this paragraph in the book, it really jumped out at me.

I really liked the format and approach of the book. I liked that not only did the author research the topics, but he implemented many of the ideas in his own family to test things out. He shared anecdotal evidence from his experience, as well as from those that he met with to seek guidance and research the topics.

If you are looking for an easy to read, low pressure book on happy families, I would check out The Secrets of Happy Families. The book even includes a toolkit to help you implement the ideas that you like.

Enter Today | 1/28 - 2/15!

The Secrets of Happy Families
by Bruce Feiler
William Morrow Paperbacks
Non-Fiction

What if all the advice you've been hearing from the "experts" on marriage and family is wrong? What makes them experts anyway?

Determined to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families, bestselling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler gathered team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques from the most creative minds---from Silicon Valley to the Green Berets---and tested these ideas with his wife and kids. The result is a lively, funny, thought-provoking and original look at how we can create stronger parent/child relationships, manage the chaos of our lives, teach our kids values and grit, and have more fun together.

The Secrets of Happy Families includes more than two hundred unique practices that will help your family draw closer and make everyone in your home happier. It has already changed the lives of millions of families, and it can do the same for yours.

About the book: The book that revolutionized our view of what makes families happy . . .

Determined to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families, bestselling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler gathered team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques from the most creative minds---from Silicon Valley to the Green Berets---and tested these ideas with his wife and kids. The result is a lively, original look at how we can create stronger parent/child relationships, manage the chaos of our lives, teach our kids values and grit, and have more fun together.

The Secrets of Happy Families includes more than two hundred unique practices that will help your family draw closer and make everyone in your home happier. It has already changed the lives of millions of families, and it can do the same for yours.

Purchase a copy and download the Happy Families Toolkit here.

Meet the Author: Bruce Feiler writes a column in contemporary families for the New York Times and is the author of six consecutive New York Times bestsellers, including The Council of Dads. He is the host of several series on PBS, a popular lecturer, and a frequent commentator on radio and television. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and twin daughters.

Learn more about Bruce at: http://brucefeiler.com

No compensation was received for this review. All opinions expressed are my own or that of my family. A complimentary review copy was provided to me.

Zact Mobile Services

I participated in a campaign for Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Zact. I received a promotional item as a thank you for participating in this campaign. All opinions expressed are my own or that of my family.

When I was a kid, there was not as much technology for my parents to worry about. Like most kids, at one point I got a record player that allowed me to play the records for the read along books (remember those? - we did find them with CDs for my kids). Then, I was upgraded to a stereo and eventually had a Walkman. When I was a teenager, I asked to have a phone in my room, which I got...of course, it wasn't my own line, just my own extension so I could talk for hours with friends (we didn't have call waiting or anything fancy back then, wonder how many people tried to call the house and got a busy signal while I was on the phone).

Now, as a parent, we are faced with so much more technology. I want to be able to allow my kids to experience technology, but I want for it to be on my terms and in my control. The kids have a laptop, that sits in the family room. There is a family iPad, that is also kept in the family room. They each have an iPod, but we load the music and have to log in to allow them to download even the free apps.

The iPods have been nice, because they have given them access to e-mail, iMessage and FaceTime, which they use to reach out to grandparents and friends. It also is a nice way to check in on them when either of us is not home or when they are spending the night at a friend's house. I can send a quick iMessage and see how they are doing. Of course, they are reliant on having WiFi access to use them, so they don't work everywhere.

As my son enters Intermediate School this year, the question that seems to be looming out there, is when do we get him a phone? This would allow him the ability to call us or send us a text to check in...whether he is at a friend's house, sports or elsewhere without us. It would also allow him the flexibility to be able to text with those friends that have phones but not an iDevice.

As a parent, I have concerns with a phone. I have no precedent to say what is the right age for a cell phone. I have heard horror stories from other parents who suddenly had huge cell phone bills because their children racked up hundreds, or even thousands, of text messages in a month - far exceeding the confines of their plans. I have concerns with them having web-enabled devices and finding the wrong content by mistake (hopefully not on purpose). I worry about them using the phones at all hours. I worry about the spam/telemarketers and others that will try to contact them. I worry about them losing a phone.

As you can see in the infographic above, Zact mobile services conducted a survey that found 73% of U.S. parents are concerned about the lack of parental control of a child’s activities on mobile devices.

One of the things that I like about Zact is that the phone service can grow with your child. When the kids are younger, if you want you can limit them to a select group of contacts and make it only available for calls. With time, you can add in texting and/or open up the group of contacts. You can limit apps and web access. You can restrict access at certain times of day - bedtime, dinnertime, homework time, or whatever time you want to restrict.

You can make all changes from your own phone. Zact uses the Sprint Nationwide Network and requires no contracts. You can share minutes fully between all the phones on your plan, with just a $4.99 / month line maintenance per device.

Some other features:

Never Overpay Guarantee

If you don’t use all of your monthly plan, we’ll credit you back to the plan that fits you best and automatically lower your next bill.

Customize

With Zact, you can build your own mix of talk, text and data and adjust it anytime, right from your phone.

Parental controls

Set curfews, usage caps and app/contact list restrictions right from your device.

You can check out more about parental controls and the services on their website, www.Zact.com.

We haven't yet decided when we will get him a phone, but I am certainly intrigued by the services that Zact offers and will continue to explore the option. They offer some 'packages' which are essentially recommendations or you can choose to 'Zact-Size' your plan. I really think that we can do as well, or better with a Zact plan, than if we add him to our plan. It would cost us $20 / month to add him to our plan, on Zact even with the $4.99 fee, we could get him 100 talking minutes, 500 text messages and 250MB of data. I think that the data might be high, since he would still use WiFi at home.

What do you think? Does your child have a phone? How do you monitor their usage?

No compensation was received for this post. I participated in a campaign for Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Zact. I received a promotional item as a thank you for participating in this campaign. All opinions expressed are my own or that of my family.